For the next couple of weeks I’m handing over my blog to a brilliant collection of guest posters while we enjoy our Thanksgiving holiday. To kick us off in truly superb style, it’s the inimitable Motherventing. Her blog is currently lying dormant (although if you didn’t follow it when she was posting regularly, you should set aside a morning to sit and read through her archives), but she is still spouting hilarity and filth over on Twitter. She will be delighted by the fact that I’ve chosen an image of pink cupcakes to illustrate this post.

I recently got accused of being a ‘drama llama’ by a person.

I KNOW. Shocking, isn’t it? Basically, this person thinks I’m an attention-seeking hussy and that I PURPOSEFULLY CREATE DRAMA so that I can fill the otherwise empty void that is my life with dramatic situations that revolve, almost inevitably, around ME.

Gosh! Really? How do I manage to do anything ever? I took the bins out this afternoon. Of course, I only did that because otherwise the bin bags would rot in my back garden and then there would be a DRAMA OF MY OWN MAKING. Unless maybe, this person was referring to the actual drama that I do, within an amateur dramatics company, in which case, erm, I’m supposed to be dramatic?

Who knows. I shrug, with studied nonchalance, at the moniker ‘drama llama’, thrown so pointedly in my direction. It’s silly to accuse me thus. It really totally is. I mean, I am attention-seeking  – uh, hello, I used to write a blog, on which I once posted naked photos of myself, and divulged intimate details about sex toy purchases. And I do amdram, obvs – I just don’t care if people think I am or not.

Guess who else is attention-seeking, and VERY VERY GOOD at it too? Yes! It’s our favourite punch bag, Daily Mail columnist Liz Jones, the sperm-stealing, divisive journalist with no friends, especially not within the parent blogging community, after an ill-starred recent appearance at the Mumsnet BlogFest shindig, where, erm, she talked about having no friends because of the divisive and personal things she writes about. Blimey, Liz. Steady on. Tell us something we don’t know. Continue reading →