DorkySon was just lying on the sofa, playing a game on the iPad, while I tidied around him.
“Mummy,” he said. “Dying doesn’t mean that you go away and never come back, does it?”
I froze.
“I don’t want that to happen to us,” he said. “But it’s more like a rainbow isn’t it, that you go away but then you come back again.”
It was one of those conversations that I knew I should have been better prepared for. I knew it would come up at some point, although there is no obvious reason why it has happened now. We fumbled our way through a ten-minute conversation, in which I tried to find the balance between reassurance and honesty, and attempted a few analogies drawing on what he already knows about nature.
I explained that different people believe different things – some people think we become angels, or stars, or come back to life in another form, or go to a place called heaven – and that we all have to make our own minds up about that.
“Well Grandpa believes in heaven,” he said. “So maybe he knows a bit more about it than you do, and I’ll talk to him.”
We left it there, although I know it will come up again soon.
That was yesterday.
Today, we were doing something similar. I was bustling around doing laundry and dishes, while DorkySon played in the den.
“Mummy,” he said, in that same inquisitive tone of voice.
Oh my, I thought to myself. Here we go again…
“If you decide to grow a baby in your tummy, how does it actually get there?”
This time I was much better prepared.
“It’s pretty simple,” I said. “You can ask Daddy about that when he gets home.”
Dorkymum | Stories from Tasmania 
Perfect. Sorted!
Hurrah for Dads!
Great idea. Have you warned other half or will the question come as a nice surprise?
I did warn him, so he’s had an afternoon to think about it 🙂
Very clever!
The rainbow thought is lovely, very very sweet. xx
I thought so too, bless him.
There’s a lovely book called Always and forever ( Alan Durant ) that deals sensitively with the subject. I bought it for my 4 y o when there was a bereavement in the family. It seemed to answer my little one’s questions .
Thanks so much, I’ll look that one up x
Shame you didn’t think about that answer to the first question! Good luck 🙂
Need it!
Hahahaha, good answer! If I am stumped by a question I ask them what they think first, gives you time t think, and their answers give you a starting point!!
Oh that’s a good tip too, must remember it!
Haha! Love this!
Love it! Well handled. 🙂
Now that I’ve used it once, I’ll definitely be using it again!
well handled – on both cases. 🙂
Nice side step!
Well handled!
We’ve had many questions about dying recently, a couple which have completely floored me. I know there’s worse ones to come though x
Ooft I know, it’s tough isn’t it? Hard to be honest, but you have to be, I think. T had decided by Sunday morning that we get to choose if we become an angel or a knight in shining armour after we die 🙂 x
You handled both scenarios so well – I laughed so much at the last one, Dorky Dad has an interesting conversation ahead of him. As for death – that’s a really difficult one – you want to be honest but you don’t want to scare at the same time. Good job Grandad knows more about heaven than you do. I think death is one of those topics that keep coming back with a greater understanding for them each time. Love that Dorky Son compared death to a rainbow – how poetic is that!? XXX
I think that’s a very good point – it’s not a one-off conversation is it? Something that I imagine we’ll return to again and again x
Brilliant! And what did DorkyDad say? BTW, there is an amazing book for children called Badger’s Parting Gifts that helps children hold onto all the gifts they received during a lifetime… So that they know their loved one is always with them no matter what. Not a great explanation – but worth checking out.
Oh that sounds like a good one, I’ll track it down. Thanks for the recommendation! The conversation about babies is ongoing…
Yeah, hello?! That is a Man to Man kinda talk if ever I knew one 🙂
You are so nailing this motherhood thing x
hehehehe nicely done! xx
Hahaha! Quite right! Why should you get all the hard conversations? 🙂
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