Search terms: a response

One of my favourite parts of blogging is seeing the search terms that people have used to find DorkyMum. A lot of them must go away very disappointed…

I had a quick look through some of the things that people have typed into Google this week that have landed them on this blog, and tried to respond as helpfully as possible…

How much in your terramundi?

I don’t know. How much in yours?

how to get money out of a terramundi box without breaking it

Not possible, sorry.

He is 13 years older

Pfft. That’s barely worth mentioning.

When your partner is 20 years older than you are

Nope, nothing to see here. Move along.

Is it good choice to have a husband 20 years older ?

Not as good as it is to have one 35 years older…

my husband is 35 years older

Mine too! Why not say hello!

my husband is 38 years older

Oooh! You golddigger!

ypung dawkins poet

It’s Young. Y.O.U.N.G.

yound dawkins save he children

It’s Young. Y.O.U.N.G. And the. T.H.E.

baby explosion 2012

Absolutely definitely nothing to do with me, honest guvnor. Probably all the rain.

hate children’s birthday parties

God yes, me too.

what is a chuffing numpty

That depends on your political allegiances, but I was referring to the First Minister of Scotland.

twitter is like a room

Yes, yes it is! You’re right. But I think I’ve already written that one.

building your own bird house out of a log

A log? *Horrified face.* That sounds a bit ambitious. You might want to start with some lollipop sticks.

great breast


what is it dorky mum

I don’t know. You tell me.

good luck moving to London

Thank you! That was a few months ago now. We’re fine.

how to make a champagne cork chair

Yes! Yes! I can do that!

pregnancy and nhs what they don’t tell you

Where to begin…

Woman with most piercings in the world

Definitely not me. but I did take a picture of her once.

“family photography ” wet clothes

*raises eyebrows* That sounds a bit, erm, niche for me.

i got all my hair chopped off short

Congratulations! I’m sure you look lovely.

socks in sandals new hit 2012

Nope. It will never be a good look. Not in 2012. Not ever.

hilarious question marks

Like this??

elvis street art harpenden

Tut, just as well I can’t see your IP address – if you’re searching for that online then I bet you’re the person that painted them all…

you found me

No, no. Actually it was you who found me. Have a lovely weekend.

12 responses

  1. Haha brilliant! You can usually find Grenglish by searching for: is gay (no idea), large wine glass (ermm…), breast flashing (not me) and greek god poo (definitely on the wrong site)

  2. That made me lough out loud! Really brilliant! My hubby is just ten years older, not much of a gold digger….

  3. This post had me laughing so much my 5yo asked me what was wrong. I had a influx of people who’d typed in “flatulence” or “farting in pregnancy” and got my blog! Xx

  4. Have long been pondering how to turn my search terms into a post, but you’ve taken the wind out of my sails. I won’t share with you some of the search terms that have landed people on my blameless blog because it will send yo whizzing up the Google porn rankings.

  5. LOL. Search terms are great. I get a lot of people finding me from searching for suppositories, because when I daughter got grommets, that was the pain relief they gave her after her op. The things Google indexes!

  6. Pingback: Search terms: a response

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